Tuesday, January 25, 2011

In the Fog

I really do feel like I've been through the mill a bit lately.

Every day at work is a long one. Today was 7:30 am til 6 pm and that doesn't include commuting time.

I like my job, I do. But I just wish it didn't seem so all consuming on some days/weeks/months.

Sometimes I wonder if it's just me. That I am the one who has a hard time compartmentalizing. That I can't draw the line and say "enough done today" and walk away unencumbered. That I just take it all too seriously.

Things I think I need to do for myself (revisit a diet plan, exercise, read a book) always seem to be the things that I daydream about in the car on the way to/from work. Today (whatever day that is) is never the day when any of that will become part of my reality. But if not today, then when?

When will I get something accomplished that's just for me? Something that will make me feel better. Something that will make me better able to handle all that life throws my way.

I know there's an answer here somewhere. I just can't see it yet. It's like I'm stranded in a thick, pea-soup fog and, if I could just reach out in the right direction, I could touch the answer with my fingertips. It's there. I feel its proximity.

I just need to be patient. And keep reaching into the shadows. . .

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