Wednesday, January 27, 2010

I Am Filled with Perturbation (and, yes, that really is a word!)

So, I find myself perturbed today.

Had a call with one of the partners of the company I work for and while they previously extended my contract verbally until the end of April (though, funnily enough, never actually sent me the actual updated contract), they have now decided that I have until the end of February to bring in a new big account or my monthly retainer arrangement is kaput!

I'm perturbed that they have gone back on their word and that I have so little time to make things happen (considering they have been loading my plate with other work to do well beyond my agreed retainer hours, which has taken my eye off of my new business ball). Also, since they acknowledge that I've worked hard and been a great contributor to their business, it just makes me wonder about the kind of people I'm working with. . .True to their word? Hmmm, maybe not.

So, after hanging up the phone and a bout of momentary moaning and groaning, I made a list of possible career options to consider:

1. Go hell-bent-for-leather about trying to drum up new business and try to turn the contract situation around (but even if I win something, will I find myself in the same situation in another 2, 4 or 6 months?).

2. Continue working for the next month (giving it my best) and then plan on going back to my own, non-exclusive, consulting business if I don't score a big win (which was dead as a doornail last year and, since it is very hard to schedule in advance, presents real childcare issues).

3. Win the lottery (This is an excellent plan until you get to the third step in the plan, i.e. 1) buy ticket; 2: check to see if you won; 3: make alternative plan in absence of lottery win. . .)

4. Get a real job (i.e. not working for myself, probably not able to work from home). Possible increased job security and financial stability, but other clear trade-offs.

Oh. . .what to do?

Somehow, though perturbed, I'm not actually surprised. I've had a feeling since the holidays that something was going on behind the scenes related to me and my position. The business partners are famously secretive and it's not a quality about how they run their business that I really appreciate.

I sort of feel like a weight has been lifted. What I've suspected is now out of the bag and, if I'm honest, I haven't been loving the work I've been doing lately. It's often challenging merely in the frustation of dealing with people who can't make up their minds, are often in disagreement, often provide poor direction but then are unhappy if you don't get everything exactly right the first time. It's not challenging in healthy way that feels like you're learning and growning and just able to do your best work.

So, I appear to be at another career crossroads. I need to make money to help support my family. That is without question. But which is the best way to turn?

Well, I guess at least I have four weeks to try and figure that out. . .

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