Wednesday, October 25, 2006

Spam Anyone?

I love my father-in-law. But clearly he loves Internet spam. And what he loves even more is forwarding it to everyone he knows with reckless abandon. A couple of months ago, he had me washing out my dryer filter with hot water and a scrubbing brush because supposedly the use of dryer sheets blocks the flow of air and causes fires. From the moment I put said filter under the tap, the water flowed right through though--even before any scrubbing took place. Obviously his online warning was not needed (and I'm sure the lawyers at P&G would have done something about this long before now if it was true that an innocuous Bounce sheet was bound to set homes across America ablaze).

Today, he sent out two spam-erific missives. The first was about Daisy, a seeing-eye dog, who supposedly saved her master, almost 1,000 other people and herself from the collapse of one of the Twin Towers on 9/11. It seems far-fetched to me and I have yet to google the particulars of this to see if my dad-in-law's high percentage of false info versus true is still being maintained. The second message included a long list of surprising "facts." Some, indeed, are true. For example, Warren Beatty IS the brother of Shirley Maclaine. However, I couldn't believe one of the other items and a momentarily online search verified that, to the contrary, soap vixen Susan Lucci is NOT the daughter of Phyllis Diller. Please, Paul--make it stop!


So, I'm working away on the computer at home as usual and The Bug has taken up her roost at the end of our bed. The master bedroom gives her the perfect vantage point to keep me in her sights and an excellent launch pad should any anonymous noise require her immediate barking attention and intervention. So, I decided to take a break and actually make the bed. After shooing her off, I noticed a dark patch on the hot pink fitted sheet. Had The Bug peed on the bed? Oh no. It's her latest doggy habit. Drooling.

Now, The Bug is not a massive, foul-mouthed beast. Unlike some dogs, I've never seen her drool, not even when we were eating some delectable nugget right in front of her. She is typically a tidy, medium-sized mutt of the Border Collie-ish persuasion. But I have noticed with increasing regularity dark patches of doggy drool on her favorite dozing spots: the bed, the couch, etc.

Aside from my dribbling dog, something that might be even more disturbing is my reaction. In the past, I probably would have been grossed out by some visiting canine drooling on my furniture and bedding--running to the sink or washing machine to put things right asap. However, since becoming a dog parent myself, I have become increasingly ok with her various bodily fluids, drool seeming somehow the least offensive. When seeing the puddle besmirching my bottom sheet right where my feet will rest tonight, instead of immediately removing it, I just shrugged my shoulders, pulled the duvet over the top, and said out loud, "Eh. . .it'll dry."

I'm beginning to understand how parents get used to changing shitty diapers. . .

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