PTL!

It was happened! Fingers crossed, the jobless wasteland of the past 12 months is beginning to evaporate.

Last week, I got a call about not just one long-term job, but TWO. AND I got some consulting work to boot. Not a ton, but enough hours to pay a good chunk of my mortgage this month. Hallelujah!

It still remains to be seen if either of the potential long-term jobs will really materialize, but I'm excited that things seem to be turning a corner.

Don't Cry for Me, Mr. Tax Dude

Tax day was REALLY taxing since we ended up having to pay both the federal and state governments as I was behind on my self-employment taxes. Oh brother!!!

Just what I need when I'm broke. . .another big bill. Thanks, IRS. It really depressed me. Also, my tax people confirmed my worst fear: since I'm self-employed, I can't apply for unemployment in the state of Illinois. I almost started to cry right at Mr. Tax Dude's desk (but I managed not to--thank god). That pretty much put the rest of the day onto a downward slope. Even baby Henry was in a somber mood.

But today I'm pulling myself up by my bootstraps! I need a more positive attitude if I'm going to find a solution to our financial problems (i.e. I need to get some work!).

So, I'm being thankful for what I have, not stressing about what I don't and touching base with people I haven't talked to in a while, i.e. opening myself up for the universe to give me a hand here. I actually have a call next Thursday about a job opportunity--so fingers crossed!!!! Double crossed, in fact!!!! Even some consulting work would be a HUGE break for us at the moment.

April Already? Time Flies When You're Not Sleeping

Oh, how long it's been, dear blog. That's what happens. One day your little babe is just a little over a week old and suddenly fast-forward and he's four months and five days old already. And you wonder where the time went. . .well, it wasn't spent sleeping. That's for sure. Especially when you're still getting up for those middle-of-the-night feedings. . .

I guess time indeed does fly when your a new, first-time, now 44-year-old mom.

My little one continues to thrive. His formerly broken arm is pretty much as good as new. In fact, my almost three-week-early "little" babe is something of a giant now. 27 inches long and 17 pounds at the four-month mark. He's pretty much outgrowing his 6-month size clothes already. And he's an early teether--been teething already for weeks. Those bottom front teeth are about to pop any day and, oh boy, are they making him, my usually sweet and flirty little boy, a crank monster.

And me? Well, it's a mixed bag. Still no work, so money is a constant worry. And I'm torn. I love looking after my child and my home, but my husband doesn't make enough for me to stay at home full-time. Hopefully, I can find something part-time, but any job is hard to come by at the moment. I've been in touch with long-time colleagues in my profession to see if they have any openings or know of any and I've been surprisingly totally blown off for the most part. I find it hurtful and quite staggering. People that I know very little, acquaintances really, have been the most helpful in my job search. I guess it just goes to show that you can never really know some people. People are often not, in reality, who they lead you to believe they are. Well, never mind.

If I wasn't so broke, I might actually say that this was one of the happiest times of my life. Heck. I'll say it any way. This is one of the happiest times of my life.

I have a little miracle child and every day I find more reasons to be grateful. Grateful for my wonderful, hard-working, funny husband who clearly loves being the father of his child. Grateful that the sun is shining on my back and spring is finally coming to still-cold Chicago. Grateful that I can be honestly content with what I have. Grateful that even in these hard times, we will find a way to get by. This I know.

In the end, everything will be really fine. Better than fine. Possibly great.

Taking Stock and Freaking Out a Little

I'm up at an unusually early hour for me. All this financial turmoil has me freaking out just a little and I can't sleep.

My consulting work has still been abysmal and yesterday I realized that my retirement savings account has lost $12,000 in under a week. Normally, I'd just ride with it but given the fact that I have no money coming in and am more than seven months pregnant, I may need to dip into my retirement accounts in the coming months and they are simply slipping away at an alarming rate like the rest of the stock market.

Craze is still working, thank god, but we can't cover our monthly mortgage and expenses with his check alone, even on a good commission month. I'm still in my super frugality mode but I'm really just worried about how we're going to pay our bills over the next year.

I'm worried about me, my new baby, my pets, my husband. I'm just plain old worried, probably like most Americans.